Debunking the Threat (#2)

            When I received the November 12 issue of Rolling Stone, I skimmed through, reading the cover story on Shakira and wondering what warped view of reality would be presented in this issue’s Threat Assessment. I found the answer to my pondering on pages 40 and 41. Ladies and gentlemen, the biggest threat to America for the week prior to November 12 was… a Halloween costume. No joke. “Target peddles ‘illegal alien’ Halloween costume” is listed as the worst thing on the Threat Assessment. Not “Cable stations fall for balloon boy hoax.” Not “U.S. pays $400 a gallon for gas in Afghanistan. Not even “Chubby four-month-old denied health coverage for obesity.” No, the largest problem was a Halloween costume consisting of a space alien clad in an orange jumpsuit printed with the words “ILLEGAL ALIEN” and holding a green card. I think most (rational) people would realize that this costume is intended to be FUNNY, based on the fact that inside the jumpsuit one finds not a Mexican, but a Martian. It’s a politically incorrect play on words that leaves RS offended and leaves me believing that RS has no sense of humor.

            The runner-up, #2 threat was “Superfreakonomics pushes junk science about ‘global cooling.’” I take several issues with the addition of this item to the Threat Assessment (and no, I have not read the book). 1) There are dozens of scientists who maintain that man is not the main cause of “climate change,” regardless of the direction the thermometer mercury moves. 2) In the 1970’s, there was panic over a possible “New Ice Age.” Thirty years later, we’re panicking again, but in the opposite direction. 3) We just had one of the coolest summers on record. In fact, the average global temperature has been DROPPING over the last decade. So, maybe it’s not junk science if the globe really is cooling. ( 4) One of the co-authors of Superfreakonomics, Steven D. Levitt, went on The Daily Show and stated that he had no intention of breaking from the global warming dogma, and that his book did not prove that the earth was cooling. He was merely discussing the economics of the science surrounding climate change.

            So, what was RS happy about on the Threat Assessment? “Legalizing pot more popular than creationism.” Oh man, get me a bucket so I can collect the Nihilism dripping out of this magazine. Also a popular item was “NFL blocks Rush Limbaugh’s bid to buy St. Louis rams.” Why this matters, I have no idea. The man can’t make the Rams vote conservative, and he probably doesn’t really care to. It was just a business venture. NFL, you are standing in the way of capitalism (and RS, you are ridiculous for being excited about it). The least threatening, best item? The most “with us” piece of news for Rolling Stone, November 12 issue? RS won a Cover of the Year award for their cover featuring Barack Obama. No, not the blatant Superman pose (see it here: This is the one they got the award for:

            Let’s recap: Anything that could be considered “politically incorrect” is a threat. Anything that even APPEARS to challenge established liberal dogma is a threat. Anything that undermines Christianity or traditional values is awesome. Barack Obama is the Son of God. Any questions?

Verifcation: Rolling Stone, November 12, 2009, Issue 1091, p. 40-41


One Response to “Debunking the Threat (#2)”

  1. johnhauge Says:

    stop reading rolling stone. they have no clue what music is anymore.

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