Post-College Loneliness

While you’re in elementary, middle, and high school, you have a large pool of people to choose from to be your friends. These people are all the same age as you, and they live relatively close. You start out together in kindergarten and you end up graduating together 13 years later. Sure, your group of friends changes over time as your interests change and as people move away and new people come in. You see the same familiar faces all the way through school. Some of them you befriend, and others you don’t. But it’s always the same group of kids.

When you get to college, you are thrown in with a lot of people who are still your age (or close to it), but these people are from all over the country. When you leave school for Christmas or summer vacations, you and your group of friends travel all over the nation to get home. You might go back to Virginia, and your best friend might go back to New York or North Carolina. You may find a few friends who live near you, or at least within your state or a neighboring state, but often times you make friends with people from far-away states, or even other countries. While you’re in school, this doesn’t really pose a problem. You’re all on campus together for 9 months out of the year, so you grow close to these friends. You share a 12×12 dorm room with them, you eat nearly every meal together, you have classes together, you go to parties together. These people become not only your friends, but your family as well.

Then, you graduate and everyone goes their separate ways to accomplish their goals. One friend goes back to her home state of New York to attend law school, one joins the Army, one goes to Spain to teach English, one goes to Maryland to get her master’s degree, one moves back in with her parents while she’s looking for a job. Still another goes back to New Jersey to take a few more classes and prepare for pharmacy school, while another takes a federal job near DC. And you… you get married and move to an army base in the middle of a cornfield with hopes of finding a job as a teacher.

You are no longer in school, which means that you are not simply handed a group of similarly-aged people with similar interests from which to choose your friends. So, you slowly befriend the girls you work with who are about your age, and you maintain contact with your equally-lonely college friends, and the friends you had from high school. As it turns out, the best friends a girl can have after college are Skype, Facebook, and a good texting plan.

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4 Responses to “Post-College Loneliness”

  1. Bradley Says:

    This is a really cool site, good job and I am glad that I came across it.

  2. mike Says:

    Very helpful post. It has been very difficult for me to find anything good on this topic. thanks.

  3. derek Says:

    You have created a nice site with a lot of good information. I am so glad that I found your site through google.


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