Dear upstairs neighbors:
You smoke in the bathroom (directly above MY bathroom), causing my towels and under-sink area to reek of cigarette smoke. You choose to do your vacuuming at 2 am. Your kids running around in your apartment sounds like a buffalo and an elephant engaged in a UFC-style throwdown. You wake me up in the morning screaming at your children and wake me up at night by having sex on the World’s Loudest Mattress 6 feet above my head. And then you have the audacity to ask me to turn down my music so your little hellions can take a nap in the middle of the afternoon? Excuse me for laughing at you and slamming the door in your face.
The downstairs neighbor